Dog Diary vs Cat Diary-Hilarious!

DOG DIARY

 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!


 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!


 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!


 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!


 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!


 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!


 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!


 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!


7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!


 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!


 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



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CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.


My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe.
For now...